ManniTalks

LET IT GO

How many times have you stopped them from leaving your side? Ample number of times, I have been in that same place. You might have screamed your lungs out to let them know how important they were to you. But eventually, they left. You know what makes you heroic in this entire thing? You are the one who never preferred to sit back even after failing miserably. Running after and reaching out was never a choice amidst lovers. Embracing yourself and acceptance of the reality can bring you out of the dark place. The place where you have stopped is definitely not the place where you belong. Chase the healing power within yourself, healing recovers your soul and the damage caused by letting go.

There have been times when I have found myself nowhere, just lost. In those gloomy years of my life, which I consider it to be so; I still remember that day when I saw her first. I never believed the concept called 'love at first sight' until I met her and fall in love with her on the very first day. I loved her dearly and lived a fairy tale which I probably never accepted that it would end. But it did and the fear of losing made its place deep down. Tables turned and I chose the wrong way by fooling myself with wrong cravings. Even though things went ugly I never stopped approaching her, I tried my best every day. On the other hand, I wanted her to reach out to me first so I tried every possible way out to let her know I need her. The need which preoccupied my mind was actually what made me be more reliant on her which was not incorrect in those 3 years. I tried to reach out in all the ways possible, I started giving her calls and messages from all different numbers I could.

This soon became an obsession for me to be heard by her, reluctantly. My choices became hard; I started giving up. I had chased her in all possible ways I could to get her back, I failed miserably. I started relocating her and the things which came forward were heartbreaking and fragmenting. I was shattered, clueless and lost. Thoughts brought a lot of questions, was I wrong? Would things get better? Will She embrace me? Despite of the fact that I had been living alone for so long I still felt that attachment. I don't know what to say to her , I just wanted to tell her everything , how much I missed her , how much I loved her but I couldn't. Sometimes we couldn't have control over situations. Sometimes I think that if that situation wouldn't have arisen how good our life would be ? She and I how best pair we would make.

I've read hundred of novels in my life , most of them claiming that love was the center of universe. That it could heal any damage inside of us.That it was what we need to survive , From Darcy to heath-cliff , I thought they were fools. That love was something fictional only found in worn pages of a book but that has all changed since I met my Elizabeth Bennett. I never thought I would find myself completely and utterly consumed by another until her.

She took my hand and led me out of the darkness.And showed me that whatever our souls are made of hers and mine are the same. Someone once asked me who I loved most in the world after my family , I would say that's her.

Today we are very good friends and we share a very good bond between us that actually gives me strength to keep my love hidden and inside of me. Sometimes it feels like say that damn thing , say it to her loudly that I love you the most and always will. But on the next count I prefer to let it go and keep it hidden. Sometimes You have to sacrifice your things for your loved once.

All I know today; and did not accept then, was that sometimes it is better if you let go of everything which has been bothering you. Some answers have been always sweet until and unless unsaid. The damage caused would take longer than it took to harm you. Nobody can protect you until and unless you choose to do so. Letting go has always been tough but, easier than losing yourself. Stop holding on for so long. Nobody deserves to be harmed, neither to be harmful around you.

So I let her go but deep down I still love her. 

.

“Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have e control over is yourself.” -Deborah Reber